Stop Fighting Naptime!

Mommy spy cam

It's quiet time in my house right now.   A is sleeping in her room after a very busy weekend away.   H is hard at work in our kitchen creating "gifts" for his Mommy.   He requested supplies and asked to be left alone so he could create a surprise for me.   It was so hard not to get too close to his workspace and peek.    I did manage to sneak a picture of him hard at work and took a picture of the precious present he made for me.

While I was savoring the seeming magic of this moment, I couldn't help but recall very vividly how it wasn't always this way.   Up until last week I was engaging in sometimes long battles over naptime/quiet time.   I had tried everything I could think of to keep this routine going to no avail.   Instead of a quiet few minutes to take care of a few things for our business or the household I was constantly finding myself engaged in negotiations to stay in his room, play quietly and reminders not to wake his sister up from her nap.   By the end of naptime/quiet time, H would bound out of his room ready to play and I would be frustrated, exhausted and even irritated that my time had been interrupted.

Early last week I began pondering how I was once again going to attack what was becoming the most dreaded part of my day and had a revelation.   Naptime/quiet time was never supposed to be about me and what I needed and wanted.   It was supposed to be about providing my kids much needed rest.    H hadn't napped consistently for months and if he did sleep it was only after a carefully crafted hard to maintain orchestra of events.   When he did nap we were starting to run into difficulties with bedtime.   All the signs were there that he was ready to give up the afternoon nap yet I continued to fight it for my own selfish reasons.

And so I did it; I gave up on trying to get my son to nap.

It was the best thing I could have done.    A still goes down for her nap, and when that happens our house goes into quiet time.    H and I can play quietly together, or we can do our own separate activities.    He knows that this is Mommy's time to take care of a few things (phone calls, blogging, bills, etc.) and that sometime he has to play on his own.   I have tried to be proactive at providing him with activities  to keep him engaged and entertained and always prep him before I make myself unavailable.  And I am intentional about making sure I intersperse my tasks with moments of pouring into him through a quick conversation, joining him in his play, reading a book, etc   I also explained to him that if he had meltdowns later in the afternoon that he would be asked to go to his room for some "chill-out" time because a meltdown meant he must be feeling tired.

My precious present from my son.

It may not be a perfect plan, but it was the right plan for our family.   Since implementing it, quiet time has been just as I envisioned it; a quiet peaceful time where I can attack a few of my adult tasks around the house.   But my picture of quiet time has now evolved to include some extra special 1:1 time with my son.   And I afternoons like today, where my son's kindness pops out and he spontaneously decides to bless me with his homemade gifts that have come straight from the heart.