A Parenting Win! My Son Took The Initiative

You may or may not remember, but I've been reading this book called Motivate Your Child.  It's all about helping kids learn to respond appropriately to their consciences, and teach them to be motivated to do what needs to be done.   I could go on and on about how powerful this book has been at shaping the way I approach the many teachable moments that I encounter daily with our four year old and two year old.

But that's another post, that shall be known as the review when I finish the book.

Today I want to share just one nugget of impact on my family.   We've been slowly introducing more responsibility around the house and within the family to Hayden.   He is in charge of feeding our dog Koru in the morning and the evening.   Until recently getting the task done required that either my hubby or I specifically asked him to feed the dog.

Mind you this was a win, as we've been working hard on obedience prior to this point.    Want some tips on that one?  Then, you've got to read Parenting is Heartwork.  

Motivate Your Child has helped me to understand the importance of teaching our kids the value of taking the initiative.    I decide that the task of feeding the dog was a great place to start working on this.     Here's what we did:

Across the few days leading up to now, I've started including the word initiative in conversations and pointing out times when Hayden was doing it.    He has a love of all things language so he quickly asked what that word meant.     I explained to him that it meant doing what needs to be done, without being asked.    After learning the meaning of the word, he swelled with pride when I called him out on it.

Yesterday morning, at family breakfast,  we talked about his task of feeding the dog.   I explained to him that we (hubby and I) thought this was a great responsibility for him as he was growing up.   We talked about how we all have responsibilities to the family to make sure we are the best Team Butcher we can be.    Then I shared with him that it seemed like he always needed a reminder to get his job done.   He agreed.

I told him I had an idea that might help him take initiative with this task.    He perked right up.  I told him that grown ups often use cues to help them remember things, and gave him a couple of examples.   Then I asked him if he had any ideas about types of cues we could use to help him remember his job so that we didn't always have to ask him to do it.    With a little nudging, and some pretty darn cute but impractical ideas, he decided that a picture cue would be the most helpful.   Involving him in the process was important to me, because I wanted him to have ownership over the responsibility.   But as any good teacher would, I guided him towards the cue I thought would help him the most.

Later that morning, we drew some picture cues.    Hayden does not like fine motor activities so I choose them wisely for the greatest impact.   Because my greater goals was helping him take initiative, I did most of the drawing (yes, I draw like a child myself).  Here's what we came up with:

Morning Cue

Evening Cue

 Each picture includes a picture of a dog and a bowl, the words "feed the dog" and cues as to the time of day.    Hayden decided where they should be placed in order to best help him remember and there we hung them.

So what happened after that you ask.................

This Mommy was blown away by how quickly Hayden took the initiative on his responsibility.   Both occasions following the creation of the picture cues, Hayden independently found me in the house and told me he had to feed the dog.   He then did what needed to be done to make that happen without any reminders from me.    After completing a happy dance for a parenting win (you know you do that too), I loved on my little man and we celebrated this moment together.

I can't wait to see where his next area of growth is.   He has responded so well to the strategies we've employed from both Parenting is Heartwork and Motivate Your Child and an our entire family is benefiting in becoming a stronger family as these strategies work for mommies and daddies, too!